The Lumpy Space Adventuress
by RS-V22
Summary: It's time for an adventure with...Lumpy Space Princess and Jake! When a spellcasting mistake hits Finn, LSP and Jake must venture to the Haunted Swamp and find the rare creature who will lead them to the "Wakening Ivy" in order to prevent the human boy from sleeping an eternity of fantasies. A fanfic starring my favorite princess in Adventure Time: Lumpy Space Princess!
1. Chapter 1

**THE LUMPY SPACE ADVENTURESS**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

This is _not_ my first story for _Adventure Time_, but this is my first story about the original _Adventure Time_ characters (as in, Finn, Jake, PB…yeah, you know what I mean). Take note that I won't be doing this often—I love the genderbent _Adventure Time_ universe, and so that will mean if I write stories about _Adventure Time_, you'll be seeing more about Fionna and Cake than there are about Finn and Jake. (Don't worry, I'll still be writing about original _Adventure Time_ after this—this won't be my last!) ^^

* * *

The story starts with Finn and Jake venturing into the Forest in search of the Forest Wizard.

"Hey, Jake, tell me again _why_ are we here?" Finn asked Jake. It didn't make sense to him; Jake simply shook him awake this morning with a loud "Finn, come on, dude! The Forest Wizard's waiting!" then all but forced him to dress up and run to the woods. It had only taken two minutes.

"Look, Finn, when something's urgent you gotta get going no matter what—and no questions," Jake said, somehow dodging Finn's question.

"Well then, why are we _walking_? And not _running_?"

"Because it disturbs the peace of all the forest animals, dude."

"Jake, I know you're hiding something!" Finn said, eyeing his best friend suspiciously. "You're stalling!"

"Nope, man, I'm not. Can't you see it's too urgent to explain?"

"Well, why did you stop?"

"Huh?" Finn's question caught Jake off guard. He looked closely at himself and noticed that they really _had_ stopped walking.

"Gotcha." Finn grinned.

"Okay, Finn, you caught me." Jake grimaced. "I heard the Forest Wizard's just discovered this new spell, and that he's offering to teach it. He invited us, saying 'You two are very much obliged to come.' "

"Well, what are we waiting for?" This time it was Finn who seemed to hit the urge to hurry. "Let'sgoJakelet'sgoJakele'tsgoJake!" He was talking so fast in his excitement that Jake almost couldn't figure out what he was saying.

Finn bolted ahead of his best friend just as Jake stretched his legs and overtook long bounds to keep up.

* * *

"Brothers, take a look at this spell I discovered!" the Forest Wizard enthused.

"You said you'd offer to teach it!" Finn said excitedly. Beside him, Jake was shaking with joy and anxiety.

"I will…but first, I do need a volunteer so I can show it to everyone else," the Forest Wizard said.

"Finn and Jake raised their hands, then were surprised when they heard someone say, "Like, oh my glob, this magic show just gets more and more exciting!"

Finn and Jake turned to see Lumpy Space Princess behind them.

"What are you doing here, Lumpy Space Princess?" Jake asked.

"This is a magic show, don't you know?" she answered.

The duo looked at each other in confusion then Finn turned to her: "Well, not _exactly_, Lumpy Space Princess…."

"Well, _whatever_. If it's got some hocus-pocus, then let the show begin!"

"You, dog! Come here." The Forest Wizard gestured for Jake to come.

Jake whispered to Finn, "This is going to be cool" then went toward the wizard.

"Since you are my volunteer, you are also the first one to learn the spell."

"Oh yeah!" Jake shouted.

"Hey, Finn," Lumpy Space Princess called in a lilting and seductive voice, sliding closer beside him.

Finn flinched. "Uh, hey, Lumpy Space Princess…."

"Now, do as I say, my volunteer. Snap your fingers twice, like so"—he demonstrated it just as Jake mimicked it—"take three deep breaths"—Jake did as he was instructed—"and imagine you're holding a ball."

"Can it be any ball?" Jake asked suddenly. "'Cause I want to imagine myself holding a baseball."

"Yes, a baseball, sure."

"Okay,"—Jake made his hands look like they were holding an invisible baseball—"then next…?"

"Say the words, _Voluptarius somnium quod voluptarius nox noctis, somnus an infinitio dignitas of somnus, totus vox!" _Then he added, "Direct it on someone…or something."

"Jake, Jake, direct it to _me_, dude!" Finn enthused, practically bouncing on his seat. "I wanna see what'll happen!"

"Okay, here goes"—Jake extended his arms pointedly and directly toward Finn—_"Voluptarius somnium quod voluptarius nox noctis, somnus an infinitio dignitas of somnus, totus vox!"_

A puffy green smoke enveloped Finn (Lumpy Space Princess ducked out of the way with an "Oh my glob—_incoming_!"), then Finn, strangely, stifled a yawn, then when the smoke cleared out:

"Like, hey, Finn's asleep!" Lumpy Space Princess screamed, her hands over her cheeks and her mouth a perfect "O."

Finn was sleeping peacefully on the forest floor, his mouth curved up in the form of a smile—which obviously indicated he was having pleasant dreams—and he snored lightly.

Jake recoiled in horror. "Hey! Why's Finn asleep?!"

The Forest Wizard looked at the sleeping human with a dumbfounded expression. "I…don't understand," he said. "The spell _wasn't_ supposed to do _that_." He shook his head. "What went wrong…?"

The Forest Wizard immediately looked into one of his books, frantically flipping through the pages.

Jake shook the human vigorously. "Dude! C'mon, wake _up_!" His voice started to climb. "Hey, wake up, man!"

Lumpy Space Princess frowned. "Looks like Finn won't wake up no matter _what_ you do."

"Thanks for stating the obvious, LSP," Jake muttered.

"Ah, I see what's wrong," the Forest Wizard said. "I got the words of the spell wrong—and it seems Finn's locked in an eternity's worth of sleep." He frowned.

"Oh. My. Glob!" LSP gasped.

"Gah! What do we do _now_?" Jake complained. "Don't you have a counter-spell for that?"

The Forest Wizard _tsk_ed and shook his head. "Nope, I'm afraid not—the spell's too powerful. The only way to wake Finn up from his eternal slumber is to make him drink the extract of a plant called the Wakening Ivy."

"What an _un_-original name," LSP commented.

"Where is it?" Jake immediately fired at the Forest Wizard, desperate to save Finn.

"It can be found within the deepest part of the Haunted Swamp. But be careful—the plant cannot easily be found; only a rare creature living there can show you its location," the Forest Wizard said.

"Okay, I'll go get it." And Jake trudged off toward the way to the Haunted Swamp.

"I'm coming with you, Jake," Lumpy Space Princess said, making the magical dog stop cold and twist about 360 degrees to stare at LSP with disbelief.

"Whaddya mean, _you're coming with me_?!"

"You know what I said! I'm coming with you on your dirty little quest to save your human best friend." _Then he'll be so grateful he'll kiss me,_ she added to herself.

"Ah, fine, fine," Jake groaned. Then he stretched his legs and grew four times his size. He knelt down. "Hop in." Then he noticed LSP sliding Finn's backpack off and putting it on herself. "Hey, don't you touch that! It's Finn's!"

"You think Finn'll be able to use it himself while he's enjoying his trip to the dreamworld? Yeah, sure, in his dreams he will—I'll go and benefit from his stuff while we're on an adventure." Wearing Finn's backpack, LSP floated on to Jake's back.

Jake rolled his eyes.

* * *

The trip was a pain in the neck for Jake. Lumpy Space Princess kept commenting now and then with not-so-pleasant words, events of her life Jake wasn't interested in, and even a string of words and phrases that Jake was glad _Finn_ wasn't around to hear.

"Ugh, LSP," Jake complained when he'd finally had enough enduring. "Your choice of words are _so_ Rated R!"

"Like, what_ever_." LSP waved one hand dismissively. "I just, like, want to make this boring trip _less_ boring. If it means talking all the way, then, like, chat away I SHALL!" And she launched onto a gossip she'd heard from Hotdog Princess passed on to Slime Princess passed on to Turtle Princess passed on to Cinnamon Bun overheard by her just when he'd been passing it on to some Fuzzy People.

Jake tried to shut out most of the words—after all, it's not like Lumpy Space Princess would even check to see whether he was listening or not (she was just too focused in her own stories)—and when he couldn't he suppressed himself a groan every now and then.

* * *

Finally (Jake sighed with relief with a "Thank GOODNESS" muttered under his breath), they reached the Haunted Swamp.

Lumpy Space Princess hopped (well, _floated_, rather) out of Jake's back. "Yuck! Look at this wasteland!"

"Now…where do we start looking?" Jake looked around.

"I'm hungry," LSP stated.

"_What?!_ You're hungry now when we're finally here?!"

"I'm hungry," she repeated, oblivious to Jake's shocked outrage.

Jake felt like he wanted to blurt out words that were Rated R himself. He didn't feel like delaying the quest to find the cure for his hopefully-not-to-be-sleeping-forever best friend. Then he noticed what LSP was doing. "Hey! What're you doing with Finn's stuff?"

"I'm borrowing them," LSP said. Then she pulled out what looked like a bag of chips. "Good thing Finn brought some energy bars with him, and"—she pulled out Finn's sword—"hey, I sure could use this for my, like, self-defense." She swung Finn's sword around, slicing off leaves. "Like, oh, my glob, take that!"

"Hey!" Jake ducked out of the way as LSP accidentally took a swinging aim at the dog.

"Whoops. Like, why'd you put yourself there, Jake?"

Jake just rolled his eyes. "Look at this place. It can be _anywhere_." He strained through the extremely thick fog with hopes to find the certain rare creature who would lead them to the Wakening Ivy. "Let's split," he finally said. "I'll go here, and you go there."

"Fine with me," LSP said in an offhand tone; her voice was hardly intelligible because she was talking while munching on the chips. She still had Finn's sword in hand; the backpack of the human boy was still strapped onto her. "Ugly monsters, prepare to, like, go 'Oh my glob' at my shiny new sword!"

"That's _Finn's_ sword," Jake sighed as he trudged off into the thick fog.

* * *

LSP wandered into the foggy swamp, all while keeping a steady grip on her "borrowed" sword.

"I wonder if it would be easier if I'd brought my car in this place," Lumpy Space Princess said to herself. It felt like venturing forever, since the fog was so thick there was nothing else she could see but herself and the nearby trees right next to her.

It was then she heard a strange sound that was a mish-mash of cooing and croaking. LSP gasped.

"Like, oh my glob, get _away_ from me, you ugly!" LSP shouted viciously, though shakily holding out the sword as she rotated full circle, pointing it at things that weren't (or probably were) there. Her voice was trembling.

The kind of-coo, kind of-croak noise sounded like it was getting closer. LSP felt like her whole lumpy frame was shaking; the scenery was shaking like there was an earthquake.

Just then, something furry, and also kind of slimy touched her from the right.

Lumpy Space Princess screamed at the top of her lungs. "Like, OH. MY. GLOB!"

* * *

_Jake:_

"Ugh, I feel like I'll never find anything here," he muttered.

Even Jake wasn't getting much of a success with his search—all he found was a bunch of trees. Oh yeah, and nothing but nothing. Well, something if you counted the thick fog.

"I hope LSP's getting something good…wherever she is. How the heck can you find _anything_ in a fog this thick?"

Jake kept at it, though; then pretty soon he gave up on his directionless wandering when he lost count of the hours he kept at it. He decided to turn around and try to find LSP, hoping she didn't do anything to Finn's stuff or to herself. Wouldn't want to leave a princess in distress, no matter how absurd she was or how little she cared about anything else but people falling in love with her lumps.

After another round of losing count of the hours, Jake came across something.

"Hey, it's Finn's bag!" he gasped in realization. He picked it up and noticed most of its contents were gone, specifically the food.

"Lumpy glutton," he muttered under his breath, then strapped Finn's bag onto his back. "Well, if Finn's bag is here, then the odds are LSP's not too far away—unless she got eaten, or worse…."

Not less than an hour after he found Finn's bag, he found the human boy's sword as well. "So much for 'ugly monsters preparing to go oh my glob.' "

Something occurred to him—the sword was facing to the northwest of the magical dog. It seemed to be giving him some…direction? Jake couldn't quite make it add up, but instead of thinking it through some more, he simply shrugged and said, "Ah, I'll follow anything" as he picked up the sword and followed the direction it was pointing at before he'd taken it.

The trip appeared just as empty as all the others, but it seemed like he knew where he was going this time. Oddly, it felt like this time, his trip wasn't going to amount to nothing anymore. He inhaled deeply and hoped his instincts were right.

* * *

Aah…I wrote this partly because I wondered what it would be like if Jake would be stuck with LSP for the day (or more than a day, since the unfortunate duo's quest to wake up sleeping Finn seems to be taking up more hours than ever) and partly because LSP's my fave princess and I want to make a fanfic starring her. I'll update this when I can. :-):

Oh, and I forgot: the Forest Wizard's spell is actually an incantation in Latin, that translates to "Pleasant dreams and pleasant nights, sleep an eternity's worth of sleep, all right!" (No wonder Finn's having a swell time in his sleep. :P)


	2. Chapter 2

_Forest with the Forest Wizard:_

"No, he should be here; perch him up on one of the branches—better not be on the grass," the Forest Wizard instructed a bear, who was carrying a sleeping Finn over his shoulder.

The bear made a rumbling sound as he carefully perched Finn on the tree branch Forest Wizard pointed at.

"Mumph," Finn muttered sleepily. He squinted his closed eyes, then grinned; by the likes of it, it probably wouldn't be much of a problem if Finn'd still be sleeping for a day or two—he was clearly enjoying himself.

"Thanks, Brother," the Forest Wizard told the bear.

The bear made a snorting sound that could easily translate as a "You're welcome."

When the bear walked away, the Forest Wizard looked up at Finn. "I wonder what could be taking those two so long? But then again, venturing the Haunted Swamp is never an easy thing to do..."

He glanced at the spell book and frowned. "What went wrong? That certainly wasn't what the spell was supposed to do; maybe I read the words wrong...?" then, as if to find an answer to his own question, he flipped it to the page where he'd first discovered the spell. Then:

"Aha! No wonder—!"

* * *

_The Haunted Swamp:_

"Hey, Lumpy, if you can hear my voice, stay and just tell me where you are," Jake called as he walked toward the direction Finn's sword had pointed at.

As he progressed, he noticed a change in his surroundings. "Hey...Is it me or is the fog starting to...thin...?"

Sure enough, it was—other than the trees nearby, Jake was beginning to see other things that couldn't have been seen before. He could see the trees _behind_ as well, and...a mysterious cave.

"Finally," Jake sighed in relief. "Good to know I won't be seeing nothing but nothing in this place after all!" And without a second to pause, he went inside the cave.

"Sword, you sure saved me from wandering around this place for another several hours!" Jake said to the human boy's sword, caressing the blade.

The cave, gratefully, didn't look as endless as the swamp it settled in; Jake could definitely find his way around—and he was also sure that Lumpy Space Princess was somewhere around here.

"Hey, LSP, where are you around here?'" Jake called, his voice echoing around the walls of the cave. He didn't really expect an answer, and naturally, none came; he doubted Lumpy Space Princess would suddenly appear, or that he'd simply run into her as he walked, not by a long shot.

Then, no sooner after the last echo of his call, he heard the unmistakable cry.

"Like, oh my GLOB! Get away, ugly!"

Jake followed the voice immediately. Sure enough, he saw Lumpy Space Princess shaking out of fright, cold sweat and all. She seemed to be shivering against the cave wall.

"Lumpy Space Princess," Jake called.

"Wah! Oh my glob, who the—oh, hey, Jake! You scared the lumps outta me!" Lumpy Space Princess gasped.

"What happened to you that made you get to here?" Jake asked critically, pointing at LSP with Finn's sword (and smiling with the smug satisfaction that LSP was totally freaking out when he did that).

"Jake, you're not gonna believe this! I was walking around this endless foggy wasteland something...took a hold of me! Before I could, like, even take a swing of the sword at him—"

"—which you _didn't_ do," Jake inserted slyly, doubting LSP's capability to actually hit someone with his best friend's sword.

"—I totally blacked out, and when I, like, woke up I ended up here! And I was, like, 'Oh my glob, where am I?' " LSP finished her story with a shudder.

Jake scrutinized the lumpy princess with narrowed eyes. "Yeah, you're right, LSP—I don't believe it."

No sooner after Jake had spoken, there came again that part-coo, part-croak noise LSP had heard before she'd been taken into the cave.

"Oh my glob, Jake, it's here!" LSP screeched.

Jake frowned. "What? What's here?"

"That thing that grabbed me and took me here! It's, like, part furry, part slimy, and ALL UGLY!"

"And _you're_ part princess, part hobo, and all lumpy," Jake pointed out, stung a little by LSP's stingy remarks on whatever creature she'd faced. He'd always known she had a way with words, but he didn't expect that she'd actually go below the belt; she'd always been so quick to judge.

Lumpy Space Princess shook her head. "Like, Jake, now is _so_ not the time for _that_!"

"I don't appreciate you calling names on whatever it was—even if it wasn't real."

"It was real!" LSP protested.

"Say that to my butt cheeks. I've spent hours in the swamp and in here and nothing ever came out—"

Jake meant to say more, but LSP gave a shout and threw her arms up all while cowering in the corner, causing Jake to look after her in confusion.

"LSP?"

"It's, like, coming here!"

Sure as heck Jake knew LSP wasn't faking any drama now, compared to what she'd done during their trip to the Haunted Swamp.

"What's coming?"

LSP couldn't speak; her voice'd probably trembled had she spoken; she was shaking so violently. Another round of cold sweat trickled down her lumpy frame.

"LSP!" Jake struggled to get her attention. _"What's coming?"_

"Furry, slimy and ugly," Lumpy Space Princess stated in a voice so shaky that Jake had to strain hard to hear it.

Jake just got more confused. "Can't you give me more details?"

LSP didn't respond; the magical dog doubted she could say more about what she'd seen.

Sure enough, the part-coo, part-croak noise seemed to be approaching the two, and getting nearer.

Jake tensed himself against the wall, tightening his grip on his best friend's sword.

He wasn't sure what he planned to do against whatever LSP'd encountered, or what he kind of creature he'd be dealing with, but either way it involved kicking bad-guy buns, so...

"Prepare to face Jake the dog!" he bellowed, his voice concealing a tiny hint of bluff.

Out of the shadows of the corner of the cave wall, a furry foot, which, underneath, laid a load of slime (part-furry, part-slimy, as LSP'd described earlier before she trembled in fear). It uttered another part-coo, part-croak noise, then emerged out of the shadowy corner to face Jake in full.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ugh, I guess LSP wasn't kidding about the 'all ugly' part," Jake muttered under his breath.

The creature was about six feet taller than Jake, and mostly not worth looking for the most part. It was scantily covered in fur, and oozing below its frame was slime. Lumpy Space Princess definitely "told the truth."

"Uh, hey, whatever-you-are," Jake began, still keeping his iron grip on the sword.

The creature looked at the dog with wide, confused (and slitted) eyes, its too-broad mouth pressed and kept in a tight line.

"Can…can you…uh…talk?"

Nothing came out still.

_Maybe the creature's deaf or mute or something,_ Jake thought to himself. He looked behind him to ascertain LSP was okay, and found the princess hunched in on herself, avoiding even a glance at the creature.

Jake shrugged. "Won't be hearing anything from _her_ anytime now."

He turned back to see that the creature was still looking at him; Jake could bet it hadn't moved an inch even while he turned to check at LSP.

"So this is gonna be a staring contest, eh?" Jake whispered. "Fine, maybe that's why this guy's here—to see if I can beat his winning streak!"

Jake then narrowed his eyes and stared away.

The creature stared back, as did Jake. They kept their eyes at each other for a long time until Jake had finally had enough.

"Gah," he gasped. "How the flip do you _do_ that?! I'll have you know I lost not because I blinked; I blinked because this is starting to get pretty boring. But you know, if this were a stretching contest I'd have you beat before you could even take your next breath, and—"

Jake sucked in a shocked breath as the creature finally moved out of its staring stature and leaned closer toward him. The nostrils of its fur-less, wide nose enlarged, as if the creature was trying to sniff on the magical dog. Jake tensed on the sword.

Lumpy Space Princess un-hunched herself a little to utter a low whine.

Then finally the creature spoke. "You're not from around here." It was a low, and definitely male voice, though it sounded gurgled—probably from the slime.

It didn't sound like a question, but Jake answered to the voice immediately. "Sure as heck we're not from around here."

Lumpy Space Princess finally got out of her hunched-in self and floated closer to Jake, shuddering when she gave the creature a swift glance.

"Wasn't this the walking cotton candy I found shivering from the cold earlier?" the creature wondered, his eyes trailing at LSP.

Jake had to bite his cheeks to keep from smiling; he knew perfectly well LSP'd been shivering the whole time, but it _wasn't_ because of the cold. He kept a straight face as he held his gaze toward the part-furry, part-slimy creature (with the too-broad mouth and too-wide nose).

"Say, you're so far the only person we can actually _talk_ to for the sake of progressing in our trip here—tell me, do you happen to know a certain 'Wakening Ivy' plant or something?" he asked the creature as, in turn, he stared back at the dog.

"What do you need the Wakening Ivy for?" the creature asked.

"My best friend is doomed to sleep forever in good dreams and I need him to snap out of it and wake up to reality," Jake explained hastily.

"You need to find the rare creature in this cave."

"Exactly what we're here for—you know where it is?" Jake asked, trying to hide his disappointment that the part-furry, part-slimy creature in front of him wasn't the "rare creature" as he expected.

"No, but you need to find it—it's around this cave; it doesn't stay at one place for too long."

"_Find_ it?" Jake repeated in shock. He wasn't sure which was harder, finding a path in the thick fog or finding the "rare creature" in a cave full of different paths, each of which can lead to more paths and more chambers. "After we find it, then what?"

"Engage the creature and defeat it. Only then can it lead you to the Wakening Ivy."

Jake blinked, then faced LSP. "Looks like we got a 'rare creature' to hunt down and find."

LSP looked at Jake with focused eyes—which bugged the latter; what was all the staring for?—then looked around. "Hey, furry, slimy and ugly's gone."

"Huh?" Jake looked around him. The creature he'd been talking to earlier had disappeared all of a sudden—and he didn't even see a trace of slime that could give away where he'd gone to. "Gee, that guy sure knows how to disappear when you don't pay attention."

"We have a creature to find and battle?" LSP asked.

"Yeah, _we,_" Jake repeated, emphasizing the "we" part while scrutinizing LSP. "Provided _you_ don't run away and hide again."

"I—I didn't hide," LSP objected. "And I didn't run away."

"_Sure_ you didn't. Yeah, I bet you were just shivering out of the cold, just like that fur-slime guy just _thought_ you were. Uh-huh—do you want to go and take the other side with 'your shiny new sword' "—Jake held out Finn's sword toward LSP; she hesitated and swallowed hard—"and make the bad guys go 'oh my glob' at you?"

"No!" LSP shouted, too loud. "Uh…what I meant to say was 'No, I don't mind' and 'No, it's better if we, like, go together, so that we got each other's backs."

The magical dog smiled smugly; he knew that LSP really didn't want to be left behind again. "Okay, let's go—you pick our route, princess."

"Uh…I say, like, we go that way." LSP pointed to the cavernous path over Jake's right shoulder.

"Come on…Ladies first, LSP?" Jake gestured to the lumpy princess, who looked like she was going to lose whatever bluff she might have left in her.

* * *

The quest to find the elusive creature of the Haunted Swamp cave was harder than finding a needle in a haystack. For, when every time either Jake or Lumpy Space Princess would catch a glimpse of a movement from the corner of their eye, it would be gone before both or even either one would turn to the direction it had come from to be sure.

"This little fella, wherever or whatever he is, he really should know that this isn't a good place for a hide-and-seek game," Jake complained once.

"Look, maybe it just doesn't want to be found," LSP grumbled in agreement with him.

Another flash of movement, possibly for the sixth or seventh time, in the corner of Lumpy Space Princess's eye.

"_Oh my glob!_ Did you see that?!" LSP quickly blurted out—for possibly the nth time.

Jake stifled a yawn. "That's what you said earlier, LSP; I checked and I'm sure if I check _again_, it would be _nothing_."

"Darn it," LSP growled. "Like, how are we _ever_ going to get this done?"

Jake wondered, too. The elusive creature of the Haunted Swamp cavern really was doing a good job keeping itself away. There was no real way to catch a creature they hadn't seen yet, let alone the fact that it had this "ability" to slip away and disappear just as quickly as it had appeared.

Unless…

"Lumpy! You stay here!" Jake suddenly said.

"Huh?" LSP frowned. She had no idea what the magical dog was up to.

"Look, I just had this…weird idea—well, it's probably weird on your part. It's not very promising—I won't make any guarantees on this—and I can't bet whether it'll work or not, but it's better than nothing."

* * *

Oh my glob, this story is stretching out _longer_ than I thought—I'd originally planned this to be a three-chapter story.

At any rate, I'll probably finish this on my next update—meaning this story will probably be done in, like, maybe two more chapters, more or less (geez, listen to me—I'm starting to talk like LSP :D).


	4. Chapter 4

"Look, LSP, I'm going to stretch my way around this cave—s'okay, I can stretch forever; I said that to Finn when the Candy Zombies returned, though you weren't around because you ended up a zombie yourself—until I get a full glimpse of the little guy we've been trying to find. You stay here and act as my base. And hit anything that moves—except for me, obviously." Jake gave Lumpy Space Princess a narrow-eyed look. "Don't screw this up and don't ruin the plan, got it?"

LSP nodded with a more determined face this time—she'd just about had it with all the nothingness of their trip; the place was a million times worse than the forest she lived in. (Plus, something she would never mention to anyone save herself, if she didn't save the day, _what about her 'you're my hero' kiss with Finn_?)

And Jake began stretching away, toward the pathway to his right.

LSP remained there, keeping tabs on Jake's lower half (and being very careful not to think too much on it) while looking around as well.

* * *

Jake stretched his way around. Every corner, every dead end, he'd an extended part of himself there. A dead end he left a thumb, then, after that, he stretched his way somewhere—he'd think of it more as "marking."

Somewhere, he felt a movement along his over-stretched body. Whatever it was, it left a trace.

_This is probably it,_ Jake rejoiced. He retracted back to where he'd felt the movement and discovered something: a hint of a fur. He picked it up with his ear and studied closely.

"Hmm. So it's a furry little guy—and _man_, he sure can shed."

Then, as he gave an even closer look…he noticed something about the fur. His eyes widened. "Huh. I think I better get going to LSP."

* * *

Lumpy Space Princess felt like sleeping. How long had it been since Jake had left—five hours? Maybe six? More than six?

She had just been about to doze off and zonk out (her eyelids were starting to droop), when something forced her awake—a flash of a movement just when her eyes were an inch near to close.

"Oh my glob, not _this_ time you're going to get away!" LSP bellowed to the retreating shadowy figure (amazed that she finally managed to get a full glimpse, despite it was only shadowed).

She went to the direction where it had retreated, only to find nothing again, but…

"Like, what _is_ that gross piece of…Is that slime…?" She wondered at the jelly-like substance lingering on the rocks. She picked it up and examined it closely.

"Wait," she quickly said, "I _think_…it really _is_ slime—like, ew!" LSP shuddered in disgust and waved her hand to shake off the slime.

LSP narrowed her eyes toward the cave ceiling. "I wonder…maybe that 'rare creature' is full of, like, slime, too?"

It was then that she heard a shout echoing off the cave walls.

"Hey, Lumpy Space Princess!"

"Gah!" LSP screamed, the sound echoing off the walls as well. She quickly turned around and saw that it was just Jake, retracting back from his outstretched body to his original shape and size.

"Like, why do you always seem to want to, like, scare me out of my lumps, Jake?!" LSP complained in a hushed and hasty voice.

Jake ignored her. "Look at what I came across, LSP." And he held out the fur he'd found earlier.

LSP furrowed her brow. "Huh, I came across something just as hideous as that. Look there." She pointed at the slime she'd shaken off just moments ago.

"Wait," Jake said, "that can't be possible….Maybe the slime came from furry-slimy guy."

"And, like, the fur you found…?"

"Probably the fur came from the 'rare creature,' " Jake concluded.

"No lumping way. I think you got it backward, Jake—maybe the fur you found came from ugly guy, while the slime"—LSP shuddered in disgust—"I found came from the 'rare creature,' " she insisted.

"Yeah, right," Jake argued. "Did you even _see_ furry-slimy shed any fur when he was talking to us? _No!_ And because of that, the clue to the elusive critter is the fur I found."

"Lump it, Jake!"

"Back out, LSP! It's _my_ fur that'll lead us!"

"Like, no lumping on my slime! Like, that's the way!"

"Ugh, will you _quit_ on those 'lump' words, LSP?"

"Lumping make me, Jake!"

"_The fur!"_

"_The gross slime!"_

"Why not both?"

Both Lumpy Space Princess and Jake flinched at the male voice that chimed in with their squabble. They both turned to see who'd said that…and they were shocked to see the part-furry, part-slimy (and, in LSP's words, "all ugly") creature looking down at the magical dog and the hobo princess from Lumpy Space who'd just stopped cold from their bickering due to his voice.

"Gah, fur-slime dude!" Jake gasped. Then he recovered and answered in a more level tone, "Hey, uh, what brings you here?"

"You were looking for the 'rare creature,' right?" The fur-slime creature asked back, probably dodging Jake's question.

Jake expected an answer since he'd asked first, but the fur-slime guy asked back, and since he looked partly intimidating, Jake had to answer. "Yeah, we were—but I don't see how or why you'd want to involve yourself with this."

"This is, like, lumping hard, okay?" LSP side-commented. "And Jake says the fur will lead us to the creature when in fact it's the slime!"

Jake turned to glare at LSP. "The fur, you lumpy space hobo!"

"For a dog, you, like, aren't very bright, are—"

"And I repeat, why not both?" the fur-slime guy suggested again, interrupting LSP's assault at Jake.

"Are you suggesting that _both_ of what we found were clues to the 'rare creature'?" Jake wondered, mystified.

"Yes."

LSP floated closer. "You so totally sound like you know something about little Mr. Hide-and-Seek," she said suspiciously. "More than you _claim_ you know."

"Now…why the sudden suspicion?" the fur-slime guy asked innocently.

"These lumps never lie—so when I, like, get this hunch that something's totally up, I, like, know something's totally up!" She floated closer to the furry-slimy creature and scrutinized the innocence in his face.

Jake stared after the two; he felt a mixture of shock, disbelief and amazement—shock because LSP seemed to somehow gather the guts to be within an inch's proximity near fur-slime guy; disbelief that she could actually round on him like that; and amazement that she could stand being so close to a creature she'd claimed to be "all ugly."

There was a dead beat of silence for what appeared to be a never-ending moment. And then, the creature spoke in a low yet level voice:

"Impressive, you purple cotton candy. You got me."

LSP's eyebrows pulled up with confusion, as did Jake's. What had the creature just said?

The princess of Lumpy Space moved closer. "What…did you say…?"

A split second after the last word went out of LSP's lips, in a move so sudden and hasty that neither the magical dog nor the lumpy princess had time to register what happened—let alone react—the part-furry, part-slimy creature threw out his right arm and sent Lumpy Space Princess off to the cave wall in a ricochet.

"_Oh my glob…!"_ were the only words that flew out of LSP's lips as she was launched across the cavernous tunnel, right before her back hit the wall. "Ouch," she mumbled in a complaint. "That…lumpin'…hurts!"

Jake stared after LSP in horror, then turned back to the creature with a dumbfounded expression. "What's happening around here, dude?" he demanded.

The fur-slime creature held his broad and blunt chin high and said four words that made Jake tense and almost pull out the sword in Finn's bag, which was strapped on his back.

"We fight, my friend."


	5. Chapter 5

"What? Whaddya mean, we fight?" Jake asked. "I mean, it's not like we've found the 'rare creature' around here—actually, I don't think we're getting anywhere in this search, and—"

Jake stopped just in time to dodge a blow delivered to him by the part-furry, part-slimy creature; it had happened all so quickly, with no warning whatsoever.

"Why—are—you—doing—this?!" he gasped.

"Your girlfriend—"

"She is _not_ my girlfriend!" Jake protested in a hasty shout.

"—with the cotton body was right—I _do_ know something about the rare and elusive creature of the Haunted Swamp's cave."

Jake gaped at him.

"And that's because...I _am_ him."

The magical dog's jaw dropped. _"What?!"_

"I must say, you two did a pretty decent job, tracking me separately—the fur and the slime; that was why I'd suggested both; those two things you found will lead to me—and it did."

"Didn't see you shed," Jake mumbled, then hastily dodged a speedy uppercut from the creature.

"Of course, if you want me to lead you two to the Wakening Ivy and rescue your friend who's living the fantasized life, you better defeat me." Then the creature let out claws that Jake hadn't noticed before till now.

Jake could hardly land an attack himself, very much due to the creature's swift and hasty movements and assaults. He'd been planning on stretching out his size and enveloping the guy and maybe even constrict him like a boa, but chances were his evasion would be as quick as his attacks (add to that the fact the claws wouldn't give him a prayer doing it.

Jake tried thinking of ways to beat—or at least distract or slow down the creature even a teensy bit all while dodging attacks delivered to him. He secretly let out a complain about Lumpy Space Princess not being around and leaving Jake to fend for himself at the mercy of the creature...

Speaking of, where _was_ Lumpy Space Princess?

Lumpy Space Princess hardly recovered from the unfortunate blackout. When she opened her eyes, the entire place seemed to shimmer a little bit around the edges—actually, _more_ than a little bit; in fact, the entire cave wobbled like there was no tomorrow, probably worse than when she'd shivered in fear because of Mr. Ugly earlier.

"What...the...lump...?" she mumbled in a daze.

She floated around the cave in a sway, bumping into rocks in the process. She could hardly see Jake and the ugly creature in her vision. If she could walk, or if she'd had legs, she'd probably staggered.

She continued, though, she seemed determined to find her way, if there ever was a way in this lumping cave—

"Oh my glob!" She screamed when her vision had cleared out some, just enough for the fight scene to register in her. She could see Jake narrowly dodging Ugly's blows and hits.

"Like, lump off, ugly!" she bellowed at the creature. It was a bluff, and she knew it. The claws did look threatening...

She gasped as she dodged a clawed assault at her.

"All that slime's, like, probably gone into your lumping brain!" she shouted, half-shocked, half-angry.

"About _time_ you got up!" Jake called at LSP. "So now"—he stretched out his arm in an attempt to ensnare the creature and deliver a counter attack, but eventually the guy jumped out of the way, just as fast as he'd struck—"ugh, how can we ever land anything at this guy?!" Then he suddenly said, "Hey, LSP, you distract the dude; maybe I'll find my way around him—!" He couldn't continue the rest of his sentence—just one more lapse of focus might and probably would immediately equate to a loss. He kept his eyes on the attacking and suddenly hostile creature.

"Well...," LSP wanted to say more, but she saw the claws, and Jake inches caught within all the struggles, then she quickly agreed. "Like, okay, okay, at least I don't have to deal with all _that_!"

Then, very careful so not the slightest motion would give her away, she snuck around the cave, at the most inconspicuous places and spots among the rocks, and waited until she was sure she could get close and do a decent job diverting the guy, no matter how brief it may be.

One beat, another, and then:

"Yaaaaaaaaaaagh!" she hollered, floating closer to the creature, and, mentally swallowing her pride and her guts and every bit of her disgust, she landed a solid punch at the side of the creature's face, right at the bloated-looking cheek.

"_Ew,"_ she whimpered, unable to suppress her reaction.

It worked. Jake could see that the fur-slime creature had not fully recovered from the blow, so he quickly took advantage of it. He stretched out his right arm around the bewildered and partially dazed guy, then closed his other hand into a giant fist and pounded at him head-on. There was a very satisfying crunching sound that came from beneath the fist.

Jake snickered victoriously. "Really looking wiped-out."

LSP gave out a victory dance and shook her hips (if she ever really _had_ any to begin with). "Like, oh my glob—I am _so_ KICK-BUTT!"

"I have to say, LSP, you're pretty good, I mean, being some complaining unfortunate companion and all."

LSP looked at Jake with a mischievous grin that was also smug.

Jake frowned. "What?"

"Come on, Jake, say it."

"Say what?"

"If it hadn't been for me, like, you wouldn't have lasted long back there. In gratitude, I want you to, like, say that I am absolutely kick-butt and hot!"

"No way!" Jake complained. "You're not hearing any more from me! What I said earlier is more than enough. Deal with it!"

"Like, say it, Jake!"

Jake groaned.

"_Say it!"_

Jake shook his head and grimaced. "Nope, never."

"SAYITSAYITSAYITSAYITSAYIT!" Lumpy Space Princess chanted continuously, her voice rising after each word.

"Argh, okay, fine," Jake snapped. "Once only; after that, nothing else!" Then he took a deep breath.

LSP squealed in anticipation.

"Lumpy Space Princess...," Jake began, his nose wrinkling slightly as he flinched just the tiniest bit.

"Yes..."

"...you are..."

"_Yes..."_

"...so..."

"Oh my glob, Jake, like, say it like you own the words!" she said excitedly.

"...kick-butt..."

LSP braced herself for the concluding words.

"...and—What the—?"

Jake screamed out a cry of pure torment.

LSP felt like all the colors had been flushed out of her, leaving her white all over. She'd been dreading the last words, and now it felt like her ego had been deflated.

But beneath the shock, there was also anger. What the lump was _that_ all about?!

She stared at Jake and noticed he'd unwounded his right arm to reveal the claws coming from the part-furry, part-slimy creature's hand, and that the guy had finally recovered.

"What the flip?" Jake whined, putting back his right arm to normal size and griped at the pain.

"Brilliant idea, I have to say," the creature complimented. "But it did have its flaws..." Then he got back at Jake by landing a punch right at him while he was too distracted with the pain from his right arm. "When you smacked me, I knew I had to fake it till you let your guard down; I didn't know you all could be so easily convinced."

Now it was _Jake_ who went flying around the cave. And it was him who got smacked onto the cave wall.

Jake groaned, experiencing the same blackout as LSP had.

The creature went toward the magical dog, ready to end the battle.

But just as he was about to deliver the blow...

"YOU'RE _SO_ GONNA PAY FOR THAT!" Lumpy Space Princess shouted with pure outrage, no fear this time.

The creature stared at her direction, flabbergasted.

Lumpy Space Princess rammed toward the fur-slime creature (who was clearly either too stunned or too amazed at the princess displaying such desire for absolute violence) and, without hesitation, she yanked at his fur and punched on his nose.

The creature gave a pained cry that almost sounded like a moan. LSP didn't give a second to spare, though, as she continued to beat at him senselessly; the guy hardly had time to react at all.

"This is"—LSP punched at the cheek—"for"—an uppercut at the chin—"ruining"—slap at the forehead (weird, huh?)—"like, the best"—more punching—"part of"—more odd slapping—"THE SPEECH!"

Then, in which Jake managed to recover to bring witness to the next events (he recovered from the blow _much_ faster than LSP had); he'd gotten up and opened his eyes to see the next unbelievable thing LSP actually did.

_Chomp!_

She actually bit into the creature's flesh.

"Lumpy Space Princess," Jake gasped breathlessly, saying the words slowly, "you...you _actually_..._bit_ on him?!"


	6. Chapter 6

LSP blinked like Jake's voice had shattered her from a spell. She looked at Jake, then at the part-furry, part-slimy creature, and she gasped at the bite mark on him.

"Oh _my_ GLOB!" she screeched. "I...I...like, that was just _so_ gross—what was I thinking—I didn't mean to—_yech!_" She let out her tongue and spit repeatedly, most likely an attempt to shake off the icky flavor (and memory) of letting any part of her mouth get into direct contact with the ugly's flesh. "I mean, I didn't know—I was just so mad—I probably didn't realize it could get this far—!"

"Well, don't get all panicky _now_," Jake complained. "It's too late for _that_—you _already_ bit him. Let's just be lucky it's going to be lumpiness and not anything worse."

"Well, it could be even _more_ ugliness," LSP suggested.

Jake rolled his eyes. "Solid, LSP, just plain solid." Then he cleared his throat. "Anyway, thanks for...whatever you've been doing before you bit him, LSP; we would've failed if you hadn't done...Well, how _did_ you torture the guy?" Jake gestured at the creature behind him; he didn't want to look back just yet; even LSP didn't want to take a peek from behind Jake's shoulder.

"I'd...rather _not_ talk about it," LSP fidgeted.

"Okay...thanks...for the save, LSP," Jake grudgingly said, though it seemed to have pure gratitude underlying in it this time.

LSP smirked at the magical dog, playfully waggling her eyebrows. "Well...? There's, like, something missing in your, like, 'speech' earlier."

Jake suppressed a groan. "Not _now_, LSP."

LSP sucked in a sharp breath, ready to chant repeatedly to get Jake to talk.

Jake noticed that. "Okay, okay, fine. Lumpy Space Princess, you are so kick-butt and"—he grimaced in disgust and said the next word like he was chewing at garbage while saying it—"_hot_. THERE, I SAID IT!"

LSP clapped and danced around. "Oh yeah, I'm hot!"

"You don't need to be so smug about it," Jake muttered.

Then the two stopped when they heard the creature get up and wake from his fit of unconsciousness. They both looked at his direction, and neither one said anything. Jake tried not to make even the slightest sound; LSP tried not to gasp.

The creature looked a lot different, but not so much. He was full of lumpiness now, from head to toe, and as a result, the too-broad features of his face were left unnoticeable, if not vanished completely.

"Guess lumpiness can affect this guy, too," Jake mumbled, unable to suppress his reaction.

The creature blinked and looked at himself. "Ah, what...Wow, I didn't know...Gee, I look a lot better than I used to."

"_Huh?"_ Jake and LSP said in unison, jaws dropping.

"I mean, yeah, this lumpy thing _does_ look more becoming for me." He appraised his lumpy-fied arm. "If I do say so myself."

"Actually, this guy looks a lot _less_ uglier than he did," Lumpy Space Princess amended.

Jake facepalmed himself.

"So," Jake said, trying to break all this scrutinizing about lumpiness, "I'd say you really _did_ black out when LSP'd bitten you—no faking this time, I'm pretty sure—and...where's the Wakening Ivy?"

"Okay, sure, a deal's a deal, so I will graciously lead you two there," the part-furry, part-slimy, and now all lumpy creature said obligingly.

"Oh, and by the way, fur-slime dude..."

"Yes?"

"If you were the 'rare creature' this whole time, why didn't you—oh, I dunno—fight us earlier when we first encountered you?"

"That's very simple—you didn't figure it out that I was the creature you were looking for."

"Couldn't it have been simpler to tell us from the beginning?"

"What fun would that be if you wouldn't explore around and figure it out the hard way? And second, you never bothered asking me if _I_ happened to be the 'rare creature.' "

Jake's eyes widened. "_Oh._ I...guess you're right about that..."

* * *

Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, and the fur-slime guy were outside the cave, and into the foggy depths of the Haunted Swamp. Jake and LSP kept following the creature until he brushed past a few random trees and knelt down to reveal some bushes. He picked at the leaves and shrubs of the bushes and gave whatever he picked to Jake.

"This is the Wakening Ivy. Squeeze it to get its juice, and pour it over your friend's eyes," the creature instructed.

Jake examined what the fur-slime guy had just given him—it looked just like an ordinary plant bud, except a series of dots on the leaves around the bud were patterned to look like a set of eyes (which practically creeped him out a bit). It smelled like the unmistakable scent of the slime from the creature that he managed to get a whiff at when they'd first encountered each other.

"Thanks, dude," Jake said.

"Keep in mind that it's very difficult to find those in a place like this—that's why you needed me to help you find it. Once picked, the bush itself dies out"—the fur-slime guy gestured to the bush from where he picked the Wakening Ivy, which looked like it was already drying and dying out—"as you can see. A new one takes its place here in the same swamp, but in a new location."

"That is, like, the most disturbing thing I've heard," LSP commented, then added, "I don't suppose you want to, like, smoothen out? Like, you know, before you get all completely lumpy?"

"No, it's cool—I like me the way I am; the lumpiness is here to stay for me."

"Oh, and I don't, like, suppose you know a way, like, out of this gross foggy wasteland?"

"Actually, I do."

* * *

Thanks to the creature's broad knowledge of the Haunted Swamp, the two were able to find a way out, which took less time than when they tried to find a proper path in the place. Jake took long bounds to get back to the forest where the Forest Wizard and his best friend were waiting, but he couldn't do much about LSP's gossip and Rated R-filled comments on their adventures.

The duo managed to return to the forest, where they found the Forest Wizard waiting, a sleeping Finn, and a few animals.

"It took you...a long time, brother," the Forest Wizard said.

"_Long time_ is, like, an understatement," Lumpy Space Princess said with a wave of her hand. "We've practically been there for, like, hours."

Jake shook his head at LSP then turned to the Forest Wizard. "Here's the Wakening Ivy"—he rummaged around Finn's bag and held out the plant—"and we need to get its juice so we can pour it over Finn's eyes."

"Okay," the Forest Wizard said with a nod. "Let's get started."

Thanks to the help of the animals of the forest, they were able to obtain the extract from the Wakening Ivy. But before Jake could pour it over Finn's eyes, LSP shouted out, "Now, like, hold it!"

Jake and the Forest Wizard stared at her with shock.

"Let's Finn's bag back," she suggested. "Who knows what he might, like, think when he gets the impression I rummaged his stuff."

"Ugh, all right, but only because you saved me back there," Jake said reluctantly. And he strapped the bag back onto Finn's back.

After that, without missing a beat, he poured the Wakening Ivy extract over the sleeping human's eyes.

Everyone waited for a reaction.

Finn's closed eyes squinted like the bright morning sun had just shined against his eyelids (which was weird, considering the sun was now setting over to the west). He groaned inaudibly, then rolled over to the side. After a few seconds, his eyes fluttered open.

"What...?" was the first thing he mumbled.

"Finn, you're awake!" Jake rejoiced.

"Oh my glob, now he can kiss me!" Lumpy Space Princess whispered to herself with fierce joy.

"Dude, what just happened?" Finn asked Jake. Then he stretched. "And here I thought the whole thing was for real—but all of it was just a dream this whole time. How long was I out?"

"Uh," Jake fidgeted, "a couple of several hours, I would say."

"Oh Finn!" LSP cried out, floating toward the human. "Time to pucker up!"

Finn quickly stood up and retreated several steps away from LSP. "W-What—? 'Pucker up'? For what? I mean, I just woke up, and now—" He shot a glance at Jake, who was trying not to grimace and roll his eyes at LSP. "What _did_ happen?"

"Jake won't tell you, but _I_ will!" LSP shouted. "We went on an adventure to find this plant that'll wake you up, but it was, like, found in this icky wasteland and we stumbled onto a cave and encountered this, like, totally part-furry, part-slimy and all ugly—well, now he's _less_ all ugly since he's now all lumpy, but I'll get to that part—creature who Jake, like, asked where we can find this hard-to-find guy who'll lead us to the plant, and he, like, told us that we'd have to look for him and beat him if we wanted the guy to, like, take us to it. After hours of searching, we came across a fur and an icky slime and it turns out this hard-to-find creature was actually Mr. Ugly this whole time and we had to beat him good. At first we thought he was down—and I got Jake to tell me I was—"

"Don't you mention it to him!" Jake interrupted.

"Okay, like, fine, whatevs. Anyway, just when we thought he was down, just as I said, he, like, clawed at Jake and sent him flying all the way across and smack dab at the wall like I had before he did. I got, like, all mad, you know, then I punched and beat the lumps outta him, and...well...I, like, bit him without realizing it," she said hesitantly, then quickly added, "But it was cool, you know. Like, for him, I'm totally saying—he was, like, all for the lumpiness. After that, he took us back out of the cave and into the totally gross foggy swamp again and he led us to the swamp and gave the plant to Jake, which, like, by the way, smells like the ugly guy's slime."

"Huh," Finn muttered. "So _that's_ what the smell was about."

"Mr. Ugly told us to squeeze it to, like, get its juice so we can pour it over your eyes and get you awake. After that, he, like, also got us _out_ of the gross foggy swamp—thank _good_ness!—and we journeyed back to the forest and, like, got you all cured!"

Finn blinked in astonishment. "I had _no_ idea so much happened while I was out." He glanced at Jake and grinned. "But aw man, that was probably the coolest adventure you've been through!"

"It wasn't without its downsides, Finn," Jake said, frowning as he remembered LSP's words during the journey, both back and forth, and what LSP had forced him to say.

"Bottom line is," LSP said, "_I_ saved the day, so, like, you totally owe me my 'You're my hero' kiss!"

"_What?!"_ Finn gasped. "Nuh-uh, no way!"

LSP floated closer, smooching up her lips and holding out her arms. "Kiss me 'cause _I'm_ your hero, babe!"

"Aah!" Finn screamed, running away from Lumpy Space Princess.

"You, like, _so_ totally owe me a kiss, Finn!" LSP called after the human, chasing him.

Both Jake and the Forest Wizard looked after the two; the Forest Wizard chuckled.

"By the way," Jake began.

"Hmm?" the Forest Wizard asked, looking at Jake.

"What went wrong in your spell?"

"Good question—I searched the spell book and found out I got a few words wrong."

"So...what's the spell supposed to do _now_?"

"Let me demonstrate it to you, Brother."

Jake hesitated.

"Oh, don't worry," the Forest Wizard said assuringly. "It won't happen again—I got it all figured out this time."

Jake didn't answer at first. After four seconds, though, he nodded. "Okay, man, make it happen."

The Forest Wizard repeated the same routine as he'd instructed to Jake when they were to cast the spell, except this time when he spoke the words were different.

"Voluptarius somnium quod voluptarius nox noctis, fuga quod rainbows left quod vox!"

After a blinding, yet swift, flash of light, Jake opened his eyes to see...

"Whoa, now this is something you don't see everyday—actually, I do, but not like _this_." He examined himself and saw that he was all rainbow-colored from head to toe, and though he was practically the same size, he was flying. He held up his hand to feel the horn on his forehead.

"Aww, snap, dude," he said in realization. "I'm...a _rainicorn_?"

The Forest Wizard shrugged. "Looks pretty much like it, Brother."

Jake laughed and tried using his newfound power to change the colors of his surroundings. The bushes and all its green glory had turned to the hue of the sky, while the red hue of the roses on it had turned into the yellow of the sun.

"Hey, dude," Jake called over to the Forest Wizard, "you don't mind if I take this rainicorn thing out for a test ride? I wanna see what Lady Rainicorn thinks of this!"

"No problem, my friend."

As Jake (as a rainicorn) flew right on his way to Lady's place, he caught sight of Finn and Lumpy Space Princess, the two of them still locked onto a chase. He chuckled and murmured, "Don't worry, dude, I got you." Then he swooped down to grab the human and the two escaped from LSP's lumpy clutches.

"Thanks for the save, man," Finn breathed, eternally grateful.

Jake turned his head up, just enough for Finn to see him wink. "Anytime, dude."

"This"—Finn gestured to the rainbow-colored body which was flying across the sky—"was the spell?"

"Yeah, pretty cool, huh? I'm off to let Lady see this!"

"Tell me, Jake, what was it like going on an adventure with LSP?"

Jake made a face. "Like you wouldn't believe, Finn."

Finn laughed in response, and so did Jake as the duo made their way to where the magical dog's (or magical dog-turned-rainicorn's) girlfriend lived.

Lumpy Space Princess still floated in hopes of following them. "Like, I am _so_ not giving up! You so totally owe me a 'You're my hero' kiss, Finn! Like, you two lumping come back here!"

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** The Forest Wizard's spell is Latin for "Pleasant dreams and pleasant nights, flight and rainbows left and right!" :D

**-The End-**


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